Wednesday, November 5, 2008

November 5

Autumn season, 5 November 2008 at dawn, remained unlike other days. Last night mother made a call from countryside while I was reading strategy development manual provided by facilitator Gyan Yonzon in course of taking three days strategy development workshop. Mother was asking everything about us that we belong. I slept at around eleven p.m making a plan to go public library tomorrow. But I could not sleep properly. When woke up it was already 5:30 am, my morning walk started as a usual.I was quite enthusiast I have no idea until now.
Having tea, sharing happiness with glittering snow capped mountain- a natural country, I sat on holding a pen and paper to write the letter to my mother for the first time.
Dear mother!
I know you have already got why I am writing this letter. I am in problem. I do not have words to address about you. It has been twenty four springs I have been reading ever since I arrived in this world. You are as eternal as Pacific Ocean, as pure as Koshi River. No one can measure you.
I am choked. I cannot stand and still without sharing you. You are the one who can understand everything. I want to untie my knot before you. It has almost become ten years of our separation. Time has turned over new leaf of life. I have now known time and tide waits none. I am changed, you are changed. Everything is changed. But realities unchanged.
I have wanted you to show her. She is great and kindhearted like you. When she comes by the side I feel as to you. She knows women can be beautiful only if she has gone through some kind of struggle for survival. No matter who she is and no matter how she looks. I want to write a beautiful Nepal by accompanying her wherever I go. She has well known and seen the world. Her children cannot be lost indigenous. She will teach own language, culture and Nepal itself. She will be the best mother. She makes her own identity- Nepali, Indigenous, Lohorung
But I am scared, mother. If I could not do as I promised, her dream will be scattered.
You know how it hurts. I don’t want to hurt her at all.

namsang

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